It is a common trait among those who are lucky enough to grow to a ripe old age. Our negativity and harsh exterior dampens over time to allow a more calm and relaxed disposition to shine through. Older people get angry less frequently, and tend to exude a calming aura around them. We may not learn as fast at that age, but we can fully accept knowledge much more easily. Some term this “getting mellow”; I call it growing wiser. Very recently I had the opportunity to experience the stark difference in this generation gap.
It was a new day after a night of tragedy. My girlfriend’s car, parked overnight at a poorly lit and unguarded train station, had her window smashed by an attempted thief. The time of arrival had been past the usual peak of daily commuters and perhaps no one would be available for witness. For the glass was the driver’s seat window glass, it had to be ammended as soon as possible. After ringing up many dealers in the morning, an exceptionally friendly man offered a price much cheaper than its competitors. He even offered an explanation as to why he was charging much cheaper, of which I took in with approval.
Now there was a stark difference in option for the fix on these sort of situations:
- A mechanic could come over to the place of easiest convenience, and the job would be performed in front of one’s eyes.
- Alternatively, one could drive to the place of repair and leave the car there for the few hours of repair.
For this particular instance, the cheaper option happened to be that of the latter. This seems in line with the reduction in price, and seeing that I had a bit of time to spare, I decided to go ahead and drop the car at the workshop. The man I spoke to on the phone was not short of expectation. A tall, well built man in his fifties, who spoke courteously and reaffirmed me of the price on the phone. I left the car there with a smile and proceeded on other errands. After a few hours, I am not being summoned at the initially agreed meeting time and begin to grow anxious of the situation. I ring up and I am being informed of more damaged brackets. I ask over the phone of the costs and was verified that it would not cost more. I relay the situation to my girlfriend and continue on my other tasks in anticipation of the complete repair.
A while later I receive the call to pick up the car. Midway through the conversation, I am left shocked. The final cost of repair had raised to almost double the original price. I am furious and begin debating in anger over the phone. The man speaks calmly and explains that it was stated earlier on. I am further infuriated by the statement he makes that he had filed me from the previous day and we had agreed over it. I did not want to proceed with the conversation on the phone and suggest for us to clarify the issue when we meet in person. It so happened he had another customer to attend to and would have to see a fellow colleague of his instead. I sense a feeling of being conned by a car salesman and try to hold him there as long as I can so I could get there before he leaves.
It was a long walk back to the repair. Plenty of time to bake a bomb in my head, erupt a volcano. Some of the explosive thought to myself:
“I clearly remember repeating to him that the price was $X, and now I am being pushed a $Y, what a ripoff”
“He dares to try to twist the situation by pulling up false records of a deal the day before, when I had only rung this morning. This is definitely a con”
“The brackets that were damaged had incurred costs and I had been tricked to think they were free. Furthermore, I had to call personally to know about this extra damage… I wasn’t even asked if to proceed. How can this be even acceptable? I am going to threathen for Customer Rights in court if necessary”
“How on earth am I going to explain this to my girlfriend, I would look like a complete idiot. I must teach this organization a lesson. I am going to spam negative comments on the online webpage to detract customers. Better still, I would gather all my friends to do so. Let’s see how far they can go after.”
“Now he knows that I am coming, and he is trying to run away,what a sneaky fool planting someone else to answer when I get there. I am going to deal some justice here”
You can imagine for sure that by the time I reach there I throw the bomb straight at the man at the office. This was a younger man, and certainly not experienced to being provoked. For about 10-15 minutes we throw our full fledged bullets of words in as courteous but cutting delivery as possible. It was only a matter of time before we would end up in a brawl or ringing the police when the older man returns. Just on his entrance there is a sense of calm in the room and I rethink my stance and regain myself. He kindly asks what the matter was and the younger man throws the situation to him, full of angst and spite. I hold myself and allow the older man to listen. He replies to me calmly.
I repeat the whole situation to the older man, and as much as I had anger in me, it was getting dispersed and I clear my head. What am I arguing for? I can afford this, but was it just that I wanted to know earlier on? And at that point I am more clear to realize I am throwing daggers when I haven’t even looked at the outcome of the repair. Now the point that I seemed to have missed was that the labour charge was not included, along with the brackets. All that didn’t make sense as my sharp memory remembers that this was clearly reaffirmed as included. I find it extremely ridiculous and push my point across. He replies calmly but strongly there has just been a miscommunication and explains clearly what the charges are for and that there were no loopholes. My ego continues, although it weakened. He decides to show me the repaired car, and I am awe-struck.
Not only had the car window been fixed, it had the same tint as the original. Better yet: it was original glass from the car manufacturing company. To add to that, the car had been cleaned and polished nicely from the outside. Now these are things one cannot expect from a normal repair person. Such dedication to their work and high quality. My voice of ego dies down greatly and I speak kindly with the man. Within just a few minutes I realized the REAL reason why I was so angry. It was because I didn’t want to look stupid in front of my girlfriend and other people who knew this story. I didn’t want to be a victim, and wanted to make others the victims instead. Vindictive revenge.
The tale of vehichle repair ended with me paying a little less than the final listed price, to account for the misunderstanding. I apologize to the younger man in earnest. I also find out that that is his son, which sparks the difference in the styles of communication. On the way home, I leave with a smile, for I had learned in full swing the lesson of the negative ego. It can annihilate us from one destructive thought to the next, which would turn to action. I pay a relatively small fine to learn this, but would you have learned the same? Or would you hold on to a prejudice and turn bias to all car repairmen? Think about it, so much bitterness comes purely from ourselves.